IM SO CUTE AND WELL-ADJUSTED

my name is jordyn and this is where i catalog my feelings and thoughts and stuff :)

05.12.2025

(10:04 pm) ME AND MADDIE R WATCHING 9 RN.... IM SO HAPPY I LOVE MADDIE AND I HAVENT SEEN 9 IN FOREVERSSSSS

05.10.2025

(11:36 pm) I GOT IT. I FINALLY GOT IT. THE JUICY TRACKSUIT OF MY DREAMS. IM LITERALLY IN DISBELIEF I CANNOT BELIEVE I FOUND THE LAST ONE ON THE CLEARANCE RACK IN MY SIZE. THIS IS THE BESTEST DAY EVERRRRRR........i had a great time with mom and ari, but i kinda hurt now. gonna brush my teeth and wash my face and lay down after my huuuuge day... siiiigh. im so happy..

(9:17 am) feeling kind of weird.. got ready wayyyy early so i have literally nothing to do and mom wont want to go out for lunch because shes got things to do... maybe i can convince dad to go out for brunch somewhere.

05.09.2025

(3:17 pm) DOING GREAT !!!! FINISHED MY EXAM !!!! taking time for myself and drinking water.. washing my face and body.. writing affirmations and taking care of myself emotionally.. im a changed woman from last year! hell, even last month! everyone around med can ee that im glowing. i get frequent compliments by those who know me about how good my skin is looking.. i feel like im writing affirmiations, but all im doing is listing the truth. we cleared out my stuff from the old dorm, and now i'm done with college for a good while.. im so happy. i feel like im a new person but in a good way this time. i cant wait to tell dr ham what ive been working on. im sure shell be really really proud of me..... :) shopping online right now and waiting for my friends to get back to me. i miss them! but hey, me and ari will be hanging out tomorrow possibly, so that will be uber fun ;P

05.08.2025

(10:31 am) BEEN FEELING OK !!!! had a bit of a rough night after sushi last night but now im doing a lotttt better! took off my gel nails and might get lunch and catch up with my dad at lunch today since hes been out of town. ellis has been in most of my dreams lately.. i wonder what that means...... hmmm.. was told i should ask him out sooner than later and i agree. we might walk a trail when i go up to see him soon !!!!! hopefully we work out, bc i really like him. i dont mind if we just stay friends, but i also would love to be his girlfriend. :)

05.07.2025

(9:32 am) I AM FRESHLY SHOWERED AND READY TO LIVE!!!!!! i feel pretty good after the slumber party... ari did my nails and austen played minecraft and then we made pizza and it was DELISHHHHHHHH!!! i should print more images for my wall to cover up the gross stains syd left.. shes been really mean to me lately and it makes me sad. but i will be ok.

05.05.2025

im doing ok.. i need to find more things to do around the house that aren't being on my phone or eating or shopping. i should print out some posters for my wall.

05.04.2025

me and beck are yapping while he cleans up his room at home.. i miss him so much. ive been taking really good care of myself lately!

I FEEL WONDERFUL IN MY ROOM!! ive been redoing it and cleaning soo much.... i looove to clean and drink water and do skincare. it feels so natural now. i cant believe i ever felt like i couldnt shower. my motivation is THROUGH THE ROOF and some of it might be manic energy but im trying to have fun and be nice to myself and my body through it all.

05.03.2025

HII IM MOVING OUTTT !!!!! ITS KINDA STRESSFUL BUT TERI AND EDEN ARE BEING FUN AND IM HAVING FUN!!!!!! i love teri i hope she and eden and i can take a vacation sometime soon

05.02.2025

I FEEL KIND OF GROSS BUT THEN I ATE AND NOW I FEEL FINE!!!

05.01.2025

(9:59 pm) I FEEL EH! i ate fast food dinner and i dont think it filled me up.. i also just feel disgusting overall. i need to take my meds. i think im coming down from the excitement of meeting new people (drew and danny). i feel bad

(4:21 pm) I FEEL WONDEROUS! i ran a mile today!! it took me 14 minutes and i kept having to walk but i only took like 3 walk breaks.. have been cleaning but im taking a break to eat ramen and drink water and blog :3

(11:32 am) i feel ok today.. my outfit wasnt outfitting but now it is !!!!!!! the sandwich and coffee r sandwiching and coffee-ing as well.. i have a lot of work to do, but i know for a fact i can do it. i want to see ellis again, but idk when i will!!!!!!1

04.30.2025

(1:37 pm) i feel very lovely. my hair is really making me happy :) im eating ramen and drinking water

(10:54 am) i feel significantly better than i did a few weeks ago. talked to my therapist about a possible BPD diagnosis, and she agreed with me?? she said she and my psychiatrist are gonna discuss that possibility.

04.29.2025

(6:23 pm) MY HAIR IS SO CUTE IM GONNA VOMIT i had a total borderline moment over it but its ok pookies its ok. i feel great. it lifted wonderfully and all the gross ends r chopped off and im sooo healthy and happy rn

(12:07 pm) me and maddie r bleaching my hair rn.. im kiiinda scared?? itll be fine i know that but i dont want it to completely fry. shes awesome. eden is scrapbooking and ayanna might come over later tonight, so all is welllll !!!!!!! me and ellis r chatting but a little less.. he said he didnt know if he liked anyone at the party so im like. guhhhh. i need to get some serious schoolwork done.. ive been so motivated to turn my whole life around this summer!! im literally so excited for this summer when i get to redo everything to fit me. i want to work out more, eat healthier, take my meds, etc etc!!!!!! i want to be more productive

04.28.2025

(7:21 pm) feel kind of sicky gross.. but i have boba and feel cutie !!!! maddie is here and we r hanging.. i love her she is so lovely.. so glad i met her.

(4:45 pm) I HAD MY LAST IMPROV SHOW TODAY!!!!! i also had the best birthday bash and i love all of my friendsss !!!!! im feeling pretty good today.. had my coffee, about to plan the rest of my semester, maddie is over, we're all hanging out while i blog. im feeling really good. im kind of conflicted on my Boy Issues.. Beck is so sweet and I love him so much and he;s my best friend, but he JUST HIT ME IN THE HEAD. LIKE LITERALLY WHILE IM TYPING THIS HE CAME UP BEHIND ME AND SLAPPED ME IN THE EARS. ughhh i hate men i hate men. i feel very cute today! my outfit is fuckin BANGINGGGGGG !!!!!!! my in person classes are over!!!!! :))) all i have to do now is online classes and that doesnt really feel real.. wow..... im so happy :) NEVER KILL YOURSELF ALWAYS HANG ON change your meds when you need to :))))))

04.23.2025

(2:41 pm) (cough hack) IM SICK. i HATEEEE BEING SNOTTY ITS SO EMBARASSING TO SNIFF LIKE A TODDLER EVERY FIVE SECONDS. i had to skip improv today because of it.. i feel yucky but at least i have starbucks. just emailed my advisor.. i hope all goes well. i dont think theater is cut out 4 meee... idk. my final improv show is soon. this coffee is rly good omfg

04.22.2025

(7:36 pm) OK I FEEL BETTER! just had to eat. i look hot AND i submitted something to VCU cupid. i hope it goes well. currently eating my pasta and scrolling on tumblr... :)

(4:35 pm) i feel like absolute garbage. my bag broke, my keys fell, my slipper fell off, i feel gross. i look hot but at what fucking cost

(2:45 pm) i have everything a girl could want. why do i feel so bad? i have a crush, i have a cute face, i have pink hair. i have it all. why do i feel like this. i wish i could snap and it all goes away. im only happy when im distracted or buying something or eating something. i know this will pass.. but COME ON... painting my nails and listening to ayesha erotica and wishing i wasnt so miserable

(10:12 am) feeling vaguely better? last night was a DOOZY .. i got really weird. i changed a lot of my bios and usernames to be super negative because thats how i felt. i totally spiraled, and im super embarrassed. i felt so, so gross. i need new meds or to up them or SOMETHING. this episode is ruining my day-to-day life, and its tanking all of my progress. i know progress isnt linear, but at the same time, it feels like ive made no progress at all when i look back on it. im trying to love myself, but its really hard when i do all this embarrassing shit. i feel like trying is getting too hard. its knocking me out. im exhausted frequently and i have no motivation. i wish i could try harder to be better but it feels so bad..

04.21.2025

(9:15 pm) i had a major drop in mood. felt really gross. i can't shake that bad feeling that happens whenever someone tells me something i have to do. realizing im immature has been one of the worst realizations ive ever had. i was told for my whole childhood that im incredibly mature and have a biiig fucking brain and im so smart and cool and now im dumb and gross. at least im hot. whatever. ive been listening to king park for a while now. its so strange being in healing and recovery and simultaneously losing all the progress ive been trying to make but also getting far better in other places. i feel kind of at odds with myself.. my self-image is at an all-time high but im also trying to get over SO MUCH self-loathing. im getting older. i cant keep living like this. i just emailed my psychiatrist. im not going to do anything drastic or stupid. im going to sit and breathe and remember i am capable of self love. i am going to be okay. it feels weird to not wallow in it but im trying to get better

(7:04 pm) feeling ok.. trying to accept myself on a beautiful spring evening. im drinking a mango smoothie and pondering my relationship with weight and appearance as my friends chat. i feel like my whole life ive been super super skinny, and now that im 149, im a bit upset. i have to buy M/L clothes, i dont have a flat stomach anymore, etc etc. but im learning to accept myself as i am. learning how to build confidence that ive never had, learning how to be a woman.. its difficult, but im trying !!

(3:42 pm) im still feeling good. had a good class, came home, started working on updating this here site. need to eat soon, im hungryyy...

(12:23 pm) i feel significantly better than i did last night. im drinking a coffee and eating a sandwich and valuing my life.. i feel good. put my nails back on and im ready to partay!

04.20.2025

starting over fresh.. i feel better today! still doing kind of bad, but im trying. getting my little coffees and doing my nails and being kind to myself.